This is likely the low point of Shudder’s twenty-four-hour marathon revival of Joe Bob Briggs and his brand of horror-geek authority. I don’t care what anyone says, “The Prowler” is a boring, plodding, repetitive mess of a slasher: There are entire scenes of characters doing menial things that feel endless, the characters barely register, the climax is plodding and the narrative is predictable. The only thing worth watching throughout the movie are the killings, which are largely effective and occasionally shocking, but it’s not enough to hang an entire movie on. Briggs himself seems exhausted and grumpy throughout this one, beginning with a six-minute diatribe about people on their smartphones that registers less as a refreshing take on a social issue and more as a senior citizen yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Altogether it took me three different sittings to get through it, and I was relieved when it was finally over.
Rating: ★★ (out of 5)